


Prompt Fills from Tumblr

by Akaiba



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types
Genre: M/M, various prompt fills
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-27
Updated: 2014-12-06
Packaged: 2018-02-19 00:05:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 8,900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2366912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Akaiba/pseuds/Akaiba
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Chapter 1 - "Christmas"<br/>Chapter 2 - "Eleanor"<br/>Chapter 3 - "Halloween"<br/>Chapter 4 - "Apron"<br/>Chapter 5 - "Camera"<br/>Chapter 6 - "Poledancing Part 1"<br/>Chapter 7 - "Poledancing Part 2"<br/>Chapter 8 - "Lips"<br/>Chapter 9 - "Wound"</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Christmas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spideypool prompt "Christmas"

Peter lands next to Wade where the mercenary is sprawled on the roof of skyscraper, seemingly doing nothing more than watching the wispy clouds pass over the sky above them.

Still, Peter has to check.

"Deadpool." He says in greeting, voice a little cautious because whenever Wade is still it is never a good thing.

"Yo, Spidey." There’s a tension in his voice, like something strangled and forced, as he greets Spiderman with a wave.

"What are you doing?"

"Absolutely nothing illegal whatsoever, so don’t you worry your pretty little knickers of it, okay, sweetums?" Wade replies, quickly and far too sweetly for Pete’s liking. He hums disapprovingly and Wade makes an offended noise. "Now, babycakes, really, what could I possibly doing lying on my back looking at the sky? Well I could really do a lot of things lying on my back and I wouldn’t mind looking at the sky at all if you were to get over and between my-"

"Deadpool." Peter cuts him off with a tired sigh, far too used to Wade’s habit of deflecting with innuendo and filth.

"I know, baby boy, never in a million years. I got ya." He falls silent and Peter’s eyebrows shoot up sharply. Silence is uncomfortable with Deadpool, at least like this. It’s heavy and Peter can tell something is off. He wouldn’t say he and Wade were close, per say, but he’d been spending more time with Wade since the merc insisted on staying in New York for the mean time. It had started as a way to keep an eye on the insane man and ended up being kind of fun. Peter would almost call them friends, though he’s not sure exactly how Deadpool’s mind would wrap around that concept.

"Are you okay?" Peter asks slowly, wary that Deadpool is never what any person would deem ‘okay’ on a normal day anyway. "By your definition, anyway." Another barrage of nonsensical stream of consciousness gets hurled at Peter and he can barely contain his sigh as he says, "Deadpool." again and ignores the mutter of ‘that’d sound so much better if you were moaning it’.

"Job went south." Wade mutters and scratches at the top of his mask, itching the skin underneath and pretending like the tense, bitten out words aren’t as big of a deal as they are. "Can we… can we sing some carols?"

Peter’s sympathy gets overtaken by confusion as he cocks his head, “Its the middle of July…” He points out, but not dismissing the request because Deadpool almost sounds desperate. “What happened?”

"Rescue mission. Fucked up." Wade mutters. He sits up suddenly and Peter leans back, having unconsciously leaned closer to hear Deadpool’s muttered words through his mask. "She was six, Spidey. Six years old. And she shouldn’t have… I couldn’t…" Wade makes a disgusted noise and stands, striding about the roof in agitation as he snarls, angry and spitting fury. "She was six fucking years old!" He stops suddenly and looks up. "Her name was Christmas. I gave her dad an earful about appropriate names for kiddies and even tried to reason with her to change it but she liked her name and I couldn’t exactly tell her wasn’t a banging name- she was a walking holiday!"

Wade’s diatribe is slowing as suddenly as it started, trailing off into recollections of conversations he had with the little girl and Peter feels his chest tighten at the thought of what happened to her. He doesn’t want to know details, doesn’t want to know how the little girl died, but he knows Deadpool must know in graphic detail. Peter trusts him enough to know it wasn’t him that caused it, or did it, and he can see how its crushing Wade with the weight of it.

"We can… we can sing carols, if you want." Peter says softly, cutting Wade’s ramblings off and giving a soft scoffing laugh as the merc lifts him by his shoulders.

"You’re the best spider ever, did I ever tell you that? Just the best, really, the most awesome and wonderful, perkiest ass, I swear, and just the best-"

Peter wriggles free and puts a little bit of space between them, firmly reminding himself that he needs that space. There’s been too many instances recently where Peter’s found himself pressed against Wade’s bulk and thought things he probably shouldn’t.

He shoves it all down and tries to block it out, forgetting somewhere between ‘O Holy Night’ and ‘Jingle Bell Rock’ to keep some distance between them. He’s too focused on how he can tell Wade is happier now, too proud that he’s cheered the merc up and shrieking christmas carols from the rooftops is pretty therapeutic and hardly the worst thing Deadpool could be doing to vent his anger. He’s sort of proud that Wade hasn’t blown anything up.

Peter helps Wade work through his grief and is utterly off guard when Wade catches him around his waist and hauls him in, pressing their mouths together with their masks still in the way. Peter gasps and stiffens, hands tight on Wade’s suit but utterly still until Deadpool pulls back.

"Mistletoe." Wade offers.

"It’s July. And there’s no mistletoe." Peter croaks out, shaken and wide eyed, frozen in Wade’s grip. He definitely does not squeak when Deadpool kisses him again.

"Mistletoe." He says again, chuckling when Peter shoves him back. Wade takes a deep, seemingly content breath and shrugs. "I know, I know. Never in a million years." He sighs and looks up, "Happy Christmas, spidey."

Peter shakes himself and tells himself that this isn’t the time, he can freak out later when he knows Wade is okay. Because he’s definitely going to freak out. “Happy Christmas.” He ignores the fact its’ still July and thinks about the little girl that Wade tried so hard to save.

A few days later Peter reads in the paper that Deadpool slaughtered an entire faction of mercenaries somewhere in Somalia, tore them apart and blew their base off the map for good measure. Peter tries very hard to find it in him to disapprove but he thinks about a little girl called Christmas who he never knew and thinks maybe he can overlook this one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my tumblr: akaiba.tumblr.com


	2. Eleanor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spideypool prompt, "Eleanor"

Deadpool, as a rule, isn’t always so great with money. It’s a general rule, however, as his particular talents do lend themselves to accruing rather a lot of it. Peter finds it all sorts of places; big rolls of cash and thick, freshly packed wads still with the paper on. He finds them in the kitchen cupboards, in the cutlery drawer, beside the toothpaste in the bathroom cupboard, stuffed between books on the shelves, kicked under the couch and one time Peter opened the washing machine to find it heavying with soggy, ruined notes. 

Wade had justified that his dirty money was no longer in fact dirty and Peter didn’t have to take shit from his boss for a year if he didn’t want to. They had the rent money drying on the airer. 

The money is always moving though. It doesn’t linger, unless it gets shoved somewhere Wade cant be bothered to look. Then Peter finds it and it gets spent anyway. Any talk of him investing it is met with petulant whines and tantrums that he’s had a shitty life, can’t he just enjoy the simple things? They pay for their rent like good, upstanding citizens that Captain Sparkle-Pants would be proud of, they have enough food to eat and Wade even lets Peter sneak him vegetables. They can even spoil Aunt May. Wade spends some on weapons, more on suits, even more on dresses, lingerie, sex toys, his own memorabilia, video games and a tv that barely fits in their apartment. 

It all gets spent and then Wade disappears off for a week or two at a time to make more. It’s routine after a while.

Peter’s cleaning under the coffee table, Wade dusting and rushing about in a french maid outfit that does not hide a single thing- in an attempt to distract Peter from the housework- when Peter finds more money. 

It’s a bundle of wads. The wads are wrapped in bank paper, then six of those are tied with a pink ribbon and there’s a gift bow with a tag attached to the top. The tag has a dinosaur on it and reads, in Wade’s usual messy scrawl, ‘For Eleanor’. Peter would almost have missed the bundle had he not been trying to do a thorough clean. He had the idea that if he cleaned harder then Wade wouldn’t be able to make such a mess. But these wads of bills- all hundreds- looked… hidden. Not lost. 

"Wade?" Peter asks, slowly, as his mind races and he forces it to halt at every turn. He can’t assume anything with Wade. The man is too chaotic and often times insane to even guess his motives. 

"Yes, apple of my eye, darling owner of the finest ass and sweetest worm in my heart?" Wade’s humming happily as he turns, unnecessarily swinging his hips in the lace skirts as he dusts the upper shelves. 

"Who’s Eleanor?" 

The humming stops and Peter looks up as the duster clatters to the floor. Wade has taken a step towards him and his milky eyes are wide in shock. He’s staring at the bundle of money in Peter’s hands and seems… speechless. Wade swallows and were he not so tensed and frozen, Peter would call him sheepish. 

"You… you weren’t supposed to find that." 

That makes Peter frown. It’s not a stripper, he tells himself, or a prostitute or any other bit on the side. Wade seems too grateful Peter seems to like him to cheat, but that Wade is worthless is a sentiment the world through at him and one he accepts but Peter does not share it. He knows others who don’t share it too and getting Deadpool to even show his face to Peter on more than a rare occasion had been a battle. “Oh.” Is all he can say, because as much as he keeps telling himself, it is too easy to imagine Wade has found someone else, someone more to his tastes, who sees the worth Peter sees. Though apparently not if she takes cash. 

Wade is stock still and is chewing his lip furiously as he seems to be arguing under his breath with the boxes. Eventually he says, “I only put it there because i haven’t had a chance to go this month.”

Peter tries not to but he knows he frowns harder. “Oh.” Is all he can offer again. 

"Can’t go in daylight, little eyes so everything. Shouldn’t go at all but… you know me." Wade babbles. 

"Hm. I do." Be patient, Peter reminds himself. He repeats Steve words of advice that when handling Bucky he has to let the man finish his own sentences, has to let him find the way through the tangle of his mind and only help if asked. Wade will get there, Peter thinks, and it will be the window washer or something. 

"Yeah, my baby boy knows me inside and out." Wade beams and Peter offers a weak smile in return. 

"Wade…" Because the merc is getting off track, as is expected, but Peter isn’t sure he can let this one go. Its gnawing at him already that Wade’s paying someone named Eleanor. His imagination is going fifty directions at once on that alone, that Wade can only go at night, that he shouldn’t go at all… "Can you… can you see how this looks?" He asks. "I’m holding a wad of cash the size of my head and it… it is gift wrapped with a girl’s name on I’ve never heard of before."

"You’ve never heard of the name ‘Eleanor’?" 

"Wade."

Wade winces and winds his fingers in the hem of his maid dress, chewing his scabbed lower lip and shifting like a scolded child. 

"I… I didn’t wanna tell you. Less people know, the… the safer she is. But then when i thought you should know, well geez, baby boy, we were already living together and it seemed too late." 

"You only thought this was important when we moved in together?" Peter repeated, less incredulous and more sounding it out. They’d moved in a few months ago but they’d been fucking then dating for far longer. Affection seemed to be something Wade craved and wholly did not understand when he received it, love was even harder. 

"Yeah, i mean… come on, baby boy." Wade shrugged one ruffled shoulder. "I never really thought I’d keep you- that you’d wanna stay." 

"Wade…" Peter puts the money down on the coffee table and goes over to Wade slowly, hands smoothing over scar rough skin, up and over his arms to cup his jaw. "You only thought this was permanant when we moved in?" 

"Started to hope it might be. Same thing, right?" Wades hands immediately grip Peters ass, because whatever the weather he is still Wade Wilson and in his own words ‘there is no bad time to grope a marvellous ass’. Peter just smirks and kisses him softly.  
"Well, congratulations, you were right. I’m here for the long haul." Peter grins, answering dutifully ‘high-ho’ when Wade sings ‘its off to work we go’ on an apparently related thought tangent. Maybe one of the boxes started it. Gently, Peter draws Wade’s focus back to him, "Wade. Who is Eleanor?" 

"She’s my baby girl." Wade mumbles. 

It is a well known fact that Wade prefers women. Not that he tends to pass up the opportunity to oggle anyone- or anything- but he can be totally derailed by the hint of cleavage and Peter had a hard time believing Wade’s interest was genuine the first few times Wade made passes at him. Peter feels himself grow cold and he pulls backa little and forces his gaze to meet Wade’s because the man rarely means things the way they sound. “Like… like I’m your baby boy?” Peter hates how timid his voice comes out. He knows, really he does, that Wade cant mean that. Not when he’s just stood there and admitted he wasn’t sure Peter would really stay. 

"Oh holy fuck - nuggets, jesus, no!" Wade seemed horrifed at the idea of it and Peter would be lying if the answer didn’t flood him with relief. "No! You’re my baby boy, my sweet little spider with the juiciest ass and she’s… she’s my daughter."

Peter’s eyebrows shoot up and he stares at Wade. “Oh.” He chokes. “Of course. Your daughter. Why didn’t i think of that. Obvious really. Forgot my clever today, totally forgot it.”

Wade taps his forehead with one rough finger. “Petey, only one of us is allowed to psycho babble and i got that pretty covered.”

Peter’s still choking on sounds and syllables as he tries to wrap his head around the idea that Wade is a father. “W-Wade, you… why… that’s so… it’s kind of something important!” Peter tries to emphasise. 

"Well, duh. That’s why i didn’t know how to tell you!" 

Peter chokes and something that sounds like a hiccup escapes him. He pulls back a little to press a hand to his head. “Yeah… this isn’t a better way.” 

Wade shifts uncertainly before tugging at his frilly skirts. “Lemme go change, baby boy. I’ll show you.” 

Peter nods, determinedly not imagining things like maybe he’s the ‘other woman’ as he wrings his hands and waits. He expects Wade to re emerge in his Deadpool suit but he comes back from their bedroom in his jeans and big hoodie. He pulls his baseball cap down low and stuffs the money bundle into the front of his hoodie pocket, gesturing for them to head out and as they fall into step Wade starts to explain. 

He’s coherent and chronological for the most part, and Peter manages to grasp enough of Wade’s meandering storytelling to figure out that Wade had a brief encounter with a beautiful woman years ago. The woman- Caramel, Carmen, Coco, Wade’s memory is too faulty to recall right though he does try so desperately- was horrified at Wade’s appearance and fled. But she’d fallen pregnant and the tale continues. Peter learns of how the mother and child Wade had never known were used against him and the mother died protecting Eleanor. Wade trails off as they board the subway and Peter’s so raptly listening to the story of Wade’s loss and pain for something he’d never known he had that it isn’t until they’re stood on a street in a peaceful suburban area that Peter realises Wade is pointing at the front door. 

"She lives here. Normal life, normal family… pretty as a button and not an ounce of the crazy her old man has. She’s nothing like me at all." Wade is smiling like he’s relieved, like he’d been so scared she’d be like him. Peter wonders if this little girl is actually more like her father than he knows. "I can’t… i can’t know her. It’s too… too dangerous. Her mother died because of me and i didn’t even know that she existed." Wade rings his hands and pulls the money bundle out of his pocket. "But she deserves the world and this… this is all i can give her." 

Wade shoves the bundle very awkwardly through the letterbox and Peter looks around, the peaceful still night in the suburb undisturbed by the strange man shoving money through a letterbox. It’s almost like this happens often; no neighbourhood watch chasing them down, no dogs barking at the oddity… Peter wonders how many times Wade has snuck into the neighbourhood and done this. 

He thinks it should hurt that Wade didn’t tell him, and may never have, but then looking at him as he shoves a badly decorated pile of money through the letterbox of humble little house for a daughter he may never know… Peter doesn’t think he has a right to be hurt about this. 

Wade rubs his neck awkwardly as he hurries back down the stairs of the house and looks at Peter. “So… are we, I mean…?”

Peter smiles softly and takes Wade’s hand. “We’re cool, come on, big guy. Feels like we need tacos for tea.” 

Wade’s face breaks into a wide grin. “Petey, this is why I love you.”

"And my ass."

"And your ass." Wade agrees.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my tumblr: akaiba.tumblr.com


	3. Halloween

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Spideypool + Halloween, please:)"
> 
> Coming right up!

Wade has the biggest collection of costumes Peter has ever seen. Not just for a man his age or a man in his line of work; just ever. Period. 

He has maid costumes, some with frills some without, some with cut out, racy designs and some demure with the original french design. He has cowboy, cowgirl, mermaid, devil, angel, victoria secret model, disney characters, dracula, frankenstein, the mummy, a werewolf, a doctor, a nurse, an evil doctor, a nazi uniform, an army uniform, a sailor’s outfit, a plumber’s jumpsuit… the list is endless and Peter is still finding things when he dares to try and find his own clothes among the mayhem. 

Peter is fully prepared for Wade to be endlessly excited on the lead up to Halloween. He’s expecting decorations and candy and costumes, but Wade doesn’t even mention the holiday is coming. Peter’s not sure why, it seems logical that Wade would love any excuse for permitted festivities and even more so at the excuse to dress up. 

When Peter mentions if they are going to do anything for this Halloween, Wade just shrugs. “We dress up every day, Petey.” Like he can’t imagine anything more dull than dressing up. 

Peter can’t even respond for a moment he’s so stunned. 

It takes a while longer, until Halloween is almost there, for Peter to work it out. 

Johnny is proclaiming loudly about his plan to go as a zombie for Halloween, nudging Peter to tell him how awesome the idea is even when Peter cannot think of anything more seriously cliched and overdone, when Wade chimes in that Johnny’s going to go through an awful lot of effort just to look like Wade. Johnny laughs along but Peter’s stunned by the thought.

It hits him again when Jessica comes round to borrow some jewelry from Wade. Peter watches his boyfriend, Deadpool mask hiding his face, as he coos over earrings with Jessica and lecherously eyes her cleavage. It works, and Peter had seen it coming, when Jessica gets offended and whacks Wade before leaving the apartment without any jewelry. Wade hated lending his jewelry. “A lady never lends out her diamonds, Petey.” Wade had huffed as tugged his mask off now that they were alone. 

Peter thinks it over a bit more and he thinks he gets it. Wade dresses up, whether as Deadpool or Deadpool-maid or otherwise, every day of the year. He hides behind layers and layers of fabric and material so that he can laugh at the world and pretend he doesn’t give a shit about the life he’s had. Peter supposes it isn’t the same when everyone else is doing it too. He supposes its also no great comfort that he could go out without any costume on and everyone would just assume that his face was his mask, was his grotesque Halloween costume. 

Peter doesn’t dare ask. He doesn’t want confirmation. It’s fair that Wade has his own reasons for things, and it isn’t as though Wade wouldn’t be welcome at the Avengers tower- mostly welcome at least- for their own Halloween party. So Peter gently nudges the idea, dropping hints that he’d really like to take his smoking hot boyfriend to the party, and pouting when Wade waves him off that he isn’t the arm candy type. 

If that doesn’t prove that Wade’s got an issue with Halloween then Peter isn’t sure what will. Wade is always up for being arm candy. 

So Peter cheats. 

"No better arm candy than you in that low cut red dress, mhm?" Peter suggests, washing the dishes and pretending he isn’t fully aware of how Wade freezes behind him. 

Wade’s mentioned before that he’s been one of the few that enjoy the cross-dressing, and that he actively encourages Wade, buys him pretty high heels and jewelry, that he tells him he’s beautiful… that gets Wade going like nothing else. 

"Or maybe that black velvet? The one I got you for my birthday? That one’s pretty awesome." Peter hums thoughtfully. He rinses off the plate he’s scrubbing and places it down, draining the sink. "But then, we never got round to getting the shoes to match, did we?"

Wade croaks. “T-the… the stilettos?”

Peter dries off his hands, tapping his chin. “I don’t know… patent leather and velvet? I’m no fashion expert but-“

"I-it’d work." Wade swallows hard and Peter schools his face into innocent neutrality as he turns. 

"Oh?"

"Y-yeah."

"Hm, but what about the jewelry?"

"… silver?"

"Oh. You don’t have the right silver pieces for that, do you?"

"Well, the long pendant c-could-"

"We’d have to get you some specially. I mean, you’d look amazing no matter what, but it’s a party. A special occasion. Why not get something new?"

Wade gulps and Peter can see him shaking with excitement and want. He’s never hornier than when Peter’s bought him a new dress and shoved it up his thighs obscenely to touch him. 

"I… I know what you’re doing." Wade breathes. 

"Do you? Is it working?" Peter smirks. Wade’s breathless shaking his enough of an answer. 

Wade ends up going to the Halloween party. Johnny is the first to open his mouth less than flatteringly and Peter thumps him hard in the gut. Enough that Johnny won’t stop complaining about it all evening but he doesn’t dare tease Wade about his evening gown again. “No way to treat a lady.” Wade huffs as he clacks his perfectly manicured nails off the bar top. 

Peter just smiles, surrounded by typical halloween costumes, and staring at his perfectly dressed date. He was right, even if Wade hates Halloween because he can’t stand out the way he normally can, he’s still the best arm candy Peter could ask for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my tumblr: akaiba.tumblr.com


	4. Apron

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Spideypool, apron"
> 
> huehuehuehue

"Petey?"

Peter hummed distractedly as he read over his notes for his lecture that morning, patiently waiting at the dinner table like Wade had told him to.

"Pancakes for my baby boy, right?" Wade coos, and Peter looks up to thank him as a stack of four perfectly fluffy pancakes are placed in front of him. His words get tangled around his wind pipe and he just stares.

Wade is leaning obscenely across their rickety dining table, arms pushing his chest together as if he had cleavage to give Peter an eye-full of. As far as Peter can see, all Wade is wearing is the skimpiest excuse for an apron he has ever seen. It’s lace around the straps and the low-cut, love heart torso piece. The bottom, when Wade stands straight, has lacy cut outs where the pockets should be and the black lace trim continues around the red fabric of the apron. Peter would ask where he found an apron in his own superhero colours but, knowing Deadpool, he probably made it himself. Wade can sew pretty well. Peter is also really not concerned about where the apron came from as opposed to that it is there at all.

Not that he has a problem with it. Because he doesn’t. At all. Nope.

What Peter has is the opposite of a problem with it.

Wade smiles demurely at him and Peter wants to wring his conniving little neck. Okay, Wade has a the neck of a tree trunk but Peter still wants to wring it and it’s still pretty conniving. Wade knows Peter has class and Wade knows Peter really can’t skip this one.

Peter knows that Wade really likes to reassure himself that Peter would rather be at home than at college though. Peter can’t bring himself to be too mad that Wade is actually happily teasing and feeling confidant when Peter says yes he really would rather push his boyfriend’s apron up and suck him off than be in a lecture.

Wade turns to head back to the kitchen, feigning shock that he forgot the bananas like Peter likes, and Peter chokes on the guttural noises he wants to make when his suspicions are confirmed; Wade is wearing nothing but that apron.

The lace ties in a perfect bow at his waist and the loose ends trail down the small of his back over his rear and Peter knows that particular swagger in Wade’s walk is all for Peter’s benefit.

"Wade…" Peter groans, when Wade comes back with the bananas, back arched provocatively as he chops the banana into slices for Peter. If there’s a seductive way of chopping up a banana then Wade has found it, hell the man manages to breathe seductively as he watches Peter eat and then hurries him to the door.

Peter can’t resist trying to grab handfuls of Wade’s so freely displayed skin and the mercenary makes a scandalised noise, pushing Peter’s hands away and scolding him, “You’ll be late for class, baby boy!”

Peter stomps his feet into his shoes, snatches up his bag and glares at Wade as determinedly as with a half hard cock tenting his jeans and when he has to glare up to his wall-of-muscle boyfriend. “You had better still be wearing that when I come back.”

Wade gasps. “But Petey, what if the plumber comes to check the pipes? What if he takes advantage?!”

Peter grabs Wade and pulls him down into a hard kiss. “I am serious; that apron stays on.”

"Got it, baby boy." Wade smirks into the kiss and squeezes Peter’s rear before shoving him unceremoniously out the door- still dazed and kissing air. "Have fun at class!" Wade laughs into the empty apartment when he hears Peter cursing colourfully beyond the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My tumblr: akaiba.tumblr.com


	5. Camera

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Spideypool + camera"

"Peter quit it."

"Petey, stop it."

"P-dizzle, I swear to god."

"Sweetums, honey-buns, I really am telling you nicely here."

"Peter Parker if you don’t put that thing down right now I’m gonna see if I can fit it up your ass." Peter lowers his arms with a mumbled, rude comment Wade pretends he didn’t hear. "Good boy."

Wade turns and, knowing Peter as he does, only half turns before whirling back round and seeing Peter’s half raised arms with that infernal camera in his grasp again.

"Pete. I wasn’t joking."

"But-"

Wade can turn anything into a weapon, given the right opportunity. He manages to make a spatula look threatening, even with bacon grease on it.

"No."

Peter puts the camera down and huffs as he winds his arms around Wade’s waist, watching him flip bacon over his shoulder. He’s silent for a long moment before mumbling into Wade’s shoulder, “You’re handsome to me.”

Wade doesn’t respond, pretending he didn’t hear it as far as Peter is concerned. But really he hoards the words away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My Tumblr: akaiba.tumblr.com


	6. Poledancing Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Spideypool + Poledancing"
> 
> More than happy to cater to this one. :D

Peter is used to the constant stream of devoted, creepy, adoring, sometimes terrifying and always obsessive comments about his ass when he is near Wade.

He has to give the merc credit for dedication because he really can’t be too easily distracted from the topic once he and his voices are onto it; even mid battle Peter overhears snatches of conversation- “no I’d definitely call it a bounce- fine, jiggle then. Not fat- phat maybe- but fuck you could bounce a quarter off it. Yeah, sure. He won’t like it but we’ll try, you know, for science.” And Peter would be annoyed if Wade didn’t do it to every single person Peter has ever seen him interact with. Its endearing after a while, because if Wade is complimenting his ass then hes feeling okay and Peter even finds himself flattered after a while. Wade’s built like a house, and Peter would have to say Wade’s own ass was pretty fine too.

The pole dancing comments are pushing it though.

"I am more than happy to pay for the lessons- and the pole- and the heels- fuck yes- and panties- fuck, oh fuck, panties- it’s just criminal that that ass doesn’t know how to grind on a pole." Wade whined petulantly as they sat eating tacos and watching the street below, their legs swinging idly.

Peter scoffed and took a careful bite before glaring through his mask at the merc. “Quit it, Wade.” He grumbled.

"But Spidey!" Wade protested, "That ass is a gift to humanity, i mean sure- the rest of you is too- smart, sexy- no, i know we dont know his face- no, but i agree- yeah, that ass wouldn’t be on anyone who wasn’t. Just wouldn’t. But god dammit you need to know how to work a pole with it."

"Pretty sure people don’t pole dance with their butts, Wade." Peter scoffed, licking salsa from his lips and shaking his head. He’s used to Wade being passionate about random things but this vehement about his ass still? Peter is almost concerned the fixation is actually a problem.

"Pretty sure you don’t know the first thing about pole dancing, Spidey." Wade snapped huffily, his taco crunching to pieces in his ire. Wade didn’t seem the slightest bit bothered as he messily slurped the pieces and filling from his palm, mask tugged up enough to get the food in and no further. Peter wonders if he ever apologised properly for tearing it off Wade that one time.

"Oh, yeah, and you would know, huh?"

"Uh, yeah?! Duh!" Peter’s head whipped round in disbelief, choking on his drink as he tried to comprehend what Wade was saying. "Oh come on now, I’ve seen the way you bend, Spidey, you’d be a natural and me? When in the fuck would being flexible not be useful?! Sure, no one wants me to shake my ass for them but you try lifting weights? Piece of fucking cherry pie, baby boy. You lift your own body weight up a tiny metal pole and keep it at ninety degrees from the pole? Now that’s hard!" Wade clapped his licked clean fingers together before reaching for another taco. "Let me tell you, Spidey, you want a work out and that right there is it. I thought for sure you knew how with how damn… bendy, you are." Wade sighed. "I was serious about paying for the lessons. Even if i never see it and your lady friends are the only ones who benefit- really, i am contributing to society."

Peter had tuned out a good way into that rant, his brain fried around the repeating ‘noooo, he can’t mean…’ that was looping in his mind. He swallowed hard and knew he was gaping, knew Wade could see with his mask up over his nose.

"Wade… are you… are you telling me you can… p-pole dance?!"

"Well duh, Spidey-brain." Wade huffed, waving his taco around for emphasis. "I woulda thought your eight brains could have worked that out- wait, really? He doesnt have eight legs. Or eyes. We’ve been duped. Spidey, are you really a spider? The voices say you’re not." He whistles loudly. "And damn would i beg to see eight legs on a pole!" He howls like a wolf before cackling and munching into his taco.

Peter has once again stopped listening beyond confirmation of his suspicions. He chokes on air and tries to scramble away from the mental images. It isn’t even that they are repulsive, Peter’s used to Wade’s shifting scars and sores now. If anything its that the idea of all that rippling muscle strapped into panties and high heels, grinding on a pole is making Peter’s already tight spandex even tighter. Oh god what the hell is wrong with him?! Sure he spends most of his time rough and tumbling with what New York has to offer in the way of criminals but he’s pretty sure he’d have noticed gaining an appreciation for Wade. Men in general he gets; he’s a college kid, he’s experimented and he’s gotta say, not bad. But Wade?! Has he lost his freaking mind?!

"Earth to Spidey!!" Wade roars and Peter yelps, wobbling a little on his precarious perch before glaring at Wade through the mask.

"Quit it!"

"You were ignoring me!" Wade whined in return.

The subject of pole dancing, much to Peter’s relief, is dropped in favour of them squabbling over their tacos until the bag falls down the building and Peter insists Wade get more because it was his fault.

If he wakes up fevered that night, come sticky in his boxers as he cries out Wade’s name and the image of thick muscled thighs spreading teasingly as the merc works his way down a pole… well, he makes a point to avoid telepaths for a while to make sure that secret stays his.

He does decide that next time he sees Deadpool he might just take him up on the lessons, if Wade is gonna be the one teaching. If he’s in this deep already, might as well jump the rest of the way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My Tumblr: akaiba.tumblr.com


	7. Poledancing Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Spideypool + more pole dancing?"
> 
> Part 2 of Poledancing

"Wade, i’m not sure this is a good idea." Peter starts hesitantly.

"No way, Petey, this is the best idea I have ever had!" Wade insisted as he finished securing the pole to the ceiling. He bent over and Peter got a flash of black lace under the pink bathrobe slung so casually around Wade, black lace and sheer fabric that… clung. It clung to Wade’s perfectly muscled ass and framed it in lace edged trim and gauze fabric that left absolutely nothing to the imagination.

Peter bolted in his seat, shuddering and fingers digging into the arm of the couch. “Nope, no, no way, definitely an awful idea.”  
Wade span around after he finished assuring himself the pole would not buckle and the tails of his bathrobe flared, granting Peter a view of what all that lace and gauze looked like wrapped around Wade’s cock. His eyes snapped to Wade’s face- mask, still not totally comfortable without the mask- and focused there with singular determination.

"Petey, this is for science!" Wade declared.

"There is nothing scientific about this!"

"Of course there is; that your ass doesn’t knoe how to grind a pole is criminal- we’ve been over this."

Peter slammed his face into his hands. “None of that has anything to do with science!”

Wade pulled Peter’s hands away from his face and tsked, “Petey, baby boy, come on.”

Peter is a strong young man to many things but in the face of that nickname, that tone, the face he just knows is under that mask pouting at him… he is done for. “Wade… why is this so important to you?” Peter would at least like to know why Wade is so determined, before he reveals just why he doesn’t want to see Wade on a pole. The secret being that he does. Oh god, does he.

Wade shrugs one shoulder awkwardly and drops Peter’s hands like they burned him. “What else am I gonna do on a friday night?”

Peter laughs, like its punched out of him and it eases his tension enough to slump over. Of course it’s that simple to Wade. Why would there have to be a reason? Wade’s just spending time with the only friend he has and that’s enough of a reason to do anything as far as Wade is concerned. “A million different things come to mind- there’s the chimichanga challenge going on down at that Mexican food shack you love.”

Wade freezes and his jaw goes slack before it clacks shut and Wade growls- actually growls, like a feral animal- and jabs a hard finger into Peter’s chest. “You are a sneaky, bastard little spider, Petey, and we are going to eat so many chimichangas when we are done but I’m not leaving this room until you can at least climb this thing sexily.”

Peter’s got a sarcastic remark that he can climb the pole just fine- its the ‘sexy’ that has no use or reason in his abilities- but it does on his tongue the moment Wade lets the bathrobe drop.

There’s more lace.

There’s a garter belt.

Of more black lace.

It isn’t attached to any stockings- only so much time to prepare, Petey- but its around Wade’s hips under a thick band of boned half corset with more black fucking lace. This whole ensemble looks expensive- Peter looked for a gift for Gwen once so he is well aware- and its one thing to dress up for shock value in the cheapest things available but it is quite another to so lovingly invest like this. Wade tears through his Deadpool costumes like rice paper, even if he lovingly patches them, but these look like Wade takes grate pains to keep them perfect. Right down to the patent leather heels that snap around his ankles and give him another three inches to tower over Peter with.

Peter thinks he should be bothered, some people might be, that Wade so clearly takes this more seriously than he is letting on. But he isn’t. Not in the way he should be. He’s got a half hard cock that will attest to it and a bank of wild fantasies that have only gotten out of control when he learned Wade actually did know how to pole dance.

"Petey?"

Peter gulps and his eyes snap up to where Wade is looking at him with his head cocked curiously, hand wrapped loosely around the pole and legs apart and ready. Its a practiced stance and Peter gulps again, hands twitching on his thighs to touch and god is he fucked. There’s no way Wade can’t see the bulge in his jeans and he has to know Peter is just as much a deviant for getting off on this.

Wade takes a half step forward and Peter is out of his seat and in Wade’s space in a blink. “Whoa… speedy little bug.” Wade breathes.

"Spider’s aren’t bugs. They’re arachnids." Peter shakily gets out as his hands hover over Wade’s waist, not quite daring to touch.

"Oh god, talk dirty science to me more." Wade moans, hands reaching out and grasping Peter’s shoulders.

"Take the mask off." Peter begs, nosing against the fabric between them as he presses bodily against Wade, backing him to the pole and keeping hin there as his hands snake around that half corset to trace that infuriating lace.

"Petey-"

"Please. Wanna see you." Peter’s seen him before but not… not like this. The air is crackling and wild between them, all of Peter’s fears and insecurities taking a backseat to how much he just… wants.

Wade hisses in a breath before tearing the mask off and smashing their faces together, like he can stop Peter from looking if they kiss for long enough. Peter lets it go for now, too focused on the mouth against his as they kiss like starving men. More teeth than there should be, tongues getting caught between and pushing, back and forth, Peter’s hands tracing all the bared skin and all the lace, claiming it all as he feels Wade arch into him off the pole. Its not quite the body roll Wade had in mind to show him but this is infinitely better.

"Petey…" He breathes as they pull apart to gasp into each other’s mouth.

Peter can’t look away from Wade’s eyes, so wide and disbelieving and so alive. Peter can tell that Wade is in this moment, not half elsewhere imagined or unknown. Right now Wade is solid and focused and all Peter’s. 

He drops to his knees and Wade’s eyes get wider in surprise. “You…” Whatever Wade was trying to choke out gets lost as Peter’s hands grip his thighs, the loose ends of the garter belt brushing his wrists as he slides them up and Wade’s hands grip tighter on his shoulders. Peter’s breath ghosts over Wade’s cock, still framed in all that lace and sheer fabric, but not nearly so comfortably held. Wade’s cock his half hard and already straining the confines of the lace, pushing the elastic to stretch and Peter mouths over it eagerly. His brain disengaged sometime around the moment he leaped off the couch and he isn’t letting it take over now with his worries and fears, too determined to just have this.

Wade’s hands are trembling on his shoulders, fingers gripping the fabric tight as Peter inches the front of the underwear down. The grip is almost too tight, sure to leave bruises, but the disbelief fueling it- the desire to hold and feel solid reality and know this is actually happening- is one Peter shares. Though there’s nothing more affirming than wrapping his mouth around the head of Wade’s cock and tasting the heady flavour of his precum to know this is definitely happening.

Peter has never sucked cock. He had a girlfriend and hasn’t really messed around much since, eighteen and burdens to heavy on his shoulders to wonder about dating, but he had enjoyed Gwen doing it enough that he knows what he likes, knows what sorts of things he’d enjoyed. Within five seconds he’s wondering how Gwen managed any if this. He has to regulate breathing with sucking and slurping and the messier it gets the more his face burns with embarrassment and the harder Wade groans. Then there’s making sure he tongues the head and the pulsing vein along Wade’s cock, bobbing his head in some sort of rhythm… women don’t get nearly enough credit for this and Peter is suddenly far more grateful for all the times Gwen did this. Though even as difficult as Peter is finding it, and he certainly can’t take it all with the way Wade’s cock hardens fully and stuffs his mouth full, he does get a rhythm going and there’s something to be said for feeling you partner shaking under you. Knowing that your touch brings them such pleasure that they cry out your name and beg for more. Yeah, Peter thinks, that’s still pretty damn awesome.

Wade’s cock is thick and heavy in his mouth, hot flesh slicking between his lips with every bob of his head. It takes him a moment but what doesn’t fit, he wraps a hand around the rest and is rewarded with Wade’s fingers in his hair, tugging and petting as the man gasps his name. He pulls off with a slick, obscene pop at Wade’s insistent hands, scarred thumbs sliding over his abused lips before Wade lifts him to standing and kisses him hard.

"So. Fucking. Perfect. Petey. So. Petey. Petey. Petey." Wade’s breathless and gasping into his mouth, kissing between words and Peter gives himself a pat on the back for a successful first blowjob, hissing and biting Wade’s lip when the man unzips his jeans. Its a battle between not thinking about this and being totally focused on the way Wade’s hand slides into his boxers, palming him before pulling his hard cock out and getting a fim grip. He can’t think about this, not properly, not yet. Instead he arches into Wade’s grip and whines into Wade’s mouth.

Wade takes them both in hand and that has them both frantic with need. The hot, slick slide of their cocks against each other as Wade pumps them just right. His hand is large enough to get around them both, rough and calloused palms giving wonderful friction and make Peter practically climb Wade in an effort to chase the sensation. Peter’s hands move all over Wade’s body, eyes half lidded and staring at the way Wades raptly watching Peter back. They’re both getting close, Peter rocking into Wade’s grip as Wade makes bitten off, choked sounds. Peter’s head throws back as his back arches and his hips snap into Wade’s grip, coming all over the front of Wade’s half corset and hand. He cries out and can feel Wade mouthing his name against his neck, scarred lips tracing his throat with huffed out gasps of his name as Wade comes as well. Wet heat spills between them and Peter’s toes are curling in lingering pleasure, neither of them letting go as Wade works them through it and Peter forces his thoughts away for a moment longer.

"That’s not… this isn’t…" Wade’s trying to speak between getting his breath back as he leans up from Peter’s neck and lets his head knock back against the pole. "This is not the right way to pole dance."

"I prefer my way." He returns with a smirk, brain still fluttering fearfully in the background but the banter is easy. Familiar. The words are out before he can think them through and the way Wade’s face lights up with childish joy at the idea that Peter might want this again just makes Peter’s heart clench hard.

"Yeah?" Wade asks, a tremor in his words.

"Yeah." Peter says softly. Thinking is for nerds, as Wade always says, and Peter thinks he deserves a good thing in his life. They both do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My tumblr: akaiba.tumblr.com


	8. Lips

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "spideypool + lips"

For a long while, all Peter ever sees of Wade’s face is the lower half. Mask tugged up to either just under or just above his nose, depending on how brave the merc is feeling.

Peter has seen Wade’s face before. He has stolen Wade’s mask- however much he regrets hurting him like that- and he has seen it after battles when Wade’s costume is all but tatters and his body is stitching itself back together. The scarred flesh is not unfamiliar but it is still fascinating to Peter. Each flash of it that he catches when he can has him stilling and trying to see more.

The most hypnotic is when Wade’s mask is up halfway and Peter can see Wade’s mouth; eating or talking or both, usually both. It’s never still, never not twisting sounds, opening wide or teeth digging into the sore, raggedy skin of chapped lips and making Peter wince.

Peter knows he makes Wade uncomfortable when he stares, so he tries not to. He tries to act like it’s no big deal when Wade shows even a strip of skin, like it isn’t a monumental feat that Wade has enough trust in Peter and feels comfortable to remove even a fragment of that wall.

"I can… pull the mask down. You know? If that helps?" Wade says, faltering slowly as he hedges around what he believes has Peter staring as they eat a bag of burritos and watch the streets below.

Peter raises an eyebrow that Wade can’t see before tapping where his own mask is bunched up under his nose. “Why? Would you like me to pull mine down, too? Kinda makes eating hard.”

Wade frowns and Peter can see where the mask is bunching, the mercenary’s fingers itching to pull the fabric down anyway. “S’not the same, Spidey.”

"Yes. It is." Peter says simply.

"Then why d’ya keep staring, huh?!" Wade snaps.

Peter sighs and scoots quickly over, leaning in pressing his mouth clumsily against Wade’s shocked, open mouth. He knows the mask doesn’t hide the lower parts of his cheeks when he pulls back, knows Wade can see his flushed face enough to guess he’s embarrassed. “That’s why, you idiot.”

Wade is silent for a long while, long enough for Peter to finish his burrito and hesitate between taking another or leaving because clearly he’s broken something in Wade’s already addled brain and in a moment he’s gonna be on the wrong side of a katana.

Wade gulps.

Peter bites his lip nervously.

"You… you kissed me."

"Um, y-yeah."

"Are ya…. are ya sure?"

"What?"

"Well, I mean, are you sure you kissed me? Don’t you wanna try again, you know, for science? You like science, web-head, come on. Scientific method and all that." Wade’s leaning in and Peter is laughing in relief into another clumsy kiss as he shoves Wade’s shoulder.

"You dork."

"You geek." Wade crows back, cackiling to himself as he steals the last burrito and screams off the rooftop, "SPIDERMAN KISSED ME!"

Peter’s laughing too hard to even try and stop him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my tumblr: akaiba.tumblr.com


	9. Wound

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'Spideypool + wound'

Deadpool can regenerate. Its a fairly well known thing that killing him will just aggravate him- it might not even slow him down. Peter has seen it happen; muscle knitting together, bones cracking back into place- sometimes with a little help- as skin and veins tie themselves into the mess and what is left is... Wade. Still scarred, still broken but... whole. As whole as he can be. 

What Wade cannot regenerate, however, are the wounds that linger deeper. The ones that don't manifest physically. The ones that aren't scars but rended, gaping wounds that pour pain and agony so deep that Peter sometimes wonders how Wade keeps going when he's such a clusterfuck of unstable psyche and the universe's apparent punching bag. 

To say Wade has a dark past is putting it lightly but the extent of it still brings Peter to his knees when he thinks about it. Peter can pick any horrifying thing- torture, abuse, neglect, suicide, depression, insanity, betrayal, self-loathing, rape... all of them and more. Wade is a broken man and Peter is not the first to have seen all the cracks and missing pieces and loved him still but Peter does know he's the first to have stayed. Peter's not sure Blind Al counts, not when he found out how she and Wade became acquainted. 

Despite all of it, even the days when Wade is consumed by it, he still gets up in the morning. He still sings loudly and off key in the shower, still makes Peter more pancakes than they could ever hope to eat, still hogs the tv and can't stop saying the most un-sexy, stupid things in bed. He still just keeps going. 

Peter isn't sure where he gets the motivation from. The voices he has certainly don't help and while Wade assures him the voices are quieter nowadays, with Peter, Peter still sees the bad days. He still sees the hurt and pain and while he hasn't come home to blood splatter up the walls in months, Peter still wonders how. Sure there are bad days, but how are there good days? How can Wade stand it? 

There's a mouth on his shoulder and a hand on his hip, warmth bleeding through the bedsheet and making Peter's skin feel cold everywhere Wade is not. He arches back into the heat of Wade's body, humming interestedly as Wade's mouth kisses his shoulder and up his neck. 

"Morning, baby boy." Wade chirps, voice still croaky with sleep but no less excited even so early. 

"Morning, Wade." Peter mumbles back, pushing himself into Wade's space and pressing their skin together so that he might leech some of Wade's heat. 

Wade laughs and Peter is struck again by the thought, 'how?'. How can he be so happy when... 

Peter's arms tighten around Wade and he thinks that while Wade admires him and Captain America and Iron Man and every single superhero he wants to be just like, Peter's hero might just be Wade. Not Deadpool, but the man underneath who still gets up, still keeps going.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My tumblr: akaiba.tumblr.com


End file.
